Sean Connery

When we were in a pub
and I did impersonations
for that American girl.

The Hollywood Girlfriend
of the Hollywood Director
who happened to hail from Dagenham.

Once spent an evening
being baby-sat.
by me and him.

Sean Connery
is who I became
in her presence.

Not simply his name
manipulated about a Scottish lilt.
No, much worse than that.

I don’t do impersonations,
of any sort.
Now d’ya ken ma problem.

My friend said: what were you thinking.
After her boyfriend came
and scooped her-up.

But thinking
is not what I’d been doing
in The Lock Tavern, with her.

Cynthia brought out,
my Mr Bo
without his Jangles.

With her Belinda Carlisle,
Valley Girl smile.
She was all white teeth and Sixties Shift.

She was the type of girl
who had men planning:
great escapes, Graduate style.

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